Exploring the Experiences of Clinically Diagnosed Narcissists: Beyond the Negative Labels.

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having already reached that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice associated with the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Though up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are men, studies indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a therapist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for talking therapy through national services (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number